so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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