Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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