and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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