You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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