I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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