she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Holy shit dude........stairs
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
