my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You pole danced in your parka.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize