Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
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I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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