So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
