you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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