I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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