Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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