Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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