as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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