i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
