We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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