Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
