goodnight i made you a song goodbye
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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