There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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