I never want to see another naked old woman again.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
