So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i think my mom watched the whole time
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
