Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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