That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
