your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
