I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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