It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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