That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
