Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I need to sanitize my soul.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
