he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize