At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
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