thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
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He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
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