Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
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i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
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He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.