I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.