and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
