2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
