I like to think it a success when the cops are called
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
