I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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