Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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