I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you didnt know i had herpes?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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