Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I look better un-naked...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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