Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
