Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
