You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
