Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
