She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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