separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
