I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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