Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize