Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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