i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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