i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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