Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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