There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
