I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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