just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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