she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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