Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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