Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
