what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
